Well, it was a period of rush, like “I have no time to sleep and eat”, but I’m back here to write what changed since I decided to report here my struggles towards the Independent Side of life.
Yesterday I quit my current job and it feels.. wonderful and scary – to be honest.
But I feel I have the power somewhere inside me to go on my own and do what I envision I can do. Maybe this feeling is still too deep to come out but the CONSCIOUSNESS is the first step and it keeps me going.
So, from the start.
Couple of days ago I went through a tough period of my confidence dropping to nearly zero and a state where everything seemed without sense. I had a good, serious and long talk with a person I treasure and it shifted my thoughts enough to make the decision:
if not now, then when?
You now, when you suddenly start to think out of the box, come up with ideas 90% of people think are a bit crazy and “irresponsible”, I find the feeling very similar to being a bit drunk. You still have the control over the things you do, but you don’t matter what will come next. What I’m trying to say is.. you leave behind the fear of NOT TAKING ACTION. You just do it.
I read recently a book written by Ruth Ozeki, where I found a very appealing statement, that you may always hide into “your own, frozen glacier, where nobody bothers you, but still, you may observe the surroundings.”
And thats the feeling. I made a decision. No work for others, no meeting the expectations of others. I create my own way of living and I decide what are my expectations. Fullstop!
Today Saturday morning is fresh. Much more refreshing that any other. Time to start the new chapter. Hope you guys are out there to observe and see how it unfolds:)
I’ll come back soon to update!